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After a fully-packed day looking after the children, you long for bedtime. But, your child just doesn’t like the idea of going to bed before his parents. This is a common experience of most parents. You want a bit of peace and quiet at the end of a day spent in feeding them, washing clothes, clearing their mess, putting up with temper tantrums, and many other things. You ask them to go to bed, but that’s exactly what they don’t like to do. Statistics show that more than thirty three percent children refuse to go to bed before their parents. So, if your child belongs to that category, here are some pointers that might help: To begin with, you have to assess how much sleep your child needs. Though children under 12 usually need about 10 to 12 hours sleep, there are exceptions that need much less sleep. Plus, the need for sleep keeps decreasing as they grow. Younger kids need more than older ones. Now, if your child can function well enough on, say, 6 or 8 hours sleep, you cannot force him/her to sleep more than that. Remember, you can’t force sleep on yourself, then why expect the child to fall asleep when you want it happen? After you have established a reasonable bedtime, you should stick to it. Kids take advantage of any weakness. They will not miss a chance to manipulate you into giving them an extra hour. They have a fertile imagination and will concoct any and every tactic to wrangle that from you. They will ask for a drink or a question, or they will say they are scared or need to pee, anything! Some of them are so good at it that they might make you feel sorry for them so that you allow them to stay up later or sleep in your bed. Don't give in. Clear about the rules? Okay, the third step is to put this into practice. Establish a bedtime routine. Again, the younger they are, the more important this is. Start well before the target bedtime and lead them through the steps: getting changed, doing teeth and bathroom, reading a story, lights out. Be willing to give them your full attention during this routine. The last step of the routine is to put the lights out. You will face strong opposition to it. Be prepared for it, but remain firm and calm. You can allow minor concessions such as leaving the door open or a night-light on if they need that. To soothe the nerves of your child, you could also put on some soft music if that helps. Now it is crunch time. What do you do if they then get out of bed, or call for your attention? The trick here is to reassure them if they genuinely need that, without giving them so much attention that it reinforces their getting-out-of-bed behavior. You could use a timer and tell your child that you will be up to check on them after five or ten minutes only if he stays in bed. Start with five minutes and gradually increase to ten minutes. Make sure you go up to check on him and praise him for staying in bed quietly. But don't linger on. Just tuck him up quietly, give a kiss, and leave. If necessary you can repeat this procedure, at gradually lengthening intervals, until they are asleep. Yes, it sounds like lot of work at first, but do this consistently and they will learn to stay in bed for longer and longer periods of time. Eventually they will learn to fall asleep before you next come to check on them. Don’t forget the golden rule of positive reinforcement. Keep praising your child for staying quietly in bed. And, don’t fail to check up on them at the exact time you said you would. You could do with a timer as a reminder. If your child gets up before your next check, you can do the following: Send him firmly back to bed. No need to shout or get angry, just let it be known that you mean business. Tell him you will come up again but after ten minutes, which will be counted from the beginning. Make your point clear and then ignore him until the time for your next check. Always remember to reward your child for success in staying nicely in bed. You may want to use a star chart or something like that.
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